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Whatever Is Today...

Jesus, is it true? Oh Lord, help me mature and know how to handle this. Father, there's something inside me...

That Consistently Whispers

Father, there's something inside me
that consistently whispers
my right
to allow my heart to express and explode
but I've grown at least some
I know now, that voice has tricked and destroyed me many times
with worldly ideals
and messages of twisted emotion, twisted intentions, twisted love
God...
I want
to live my life righteously
and to take every thought captive
so that my heart doesn't become anxious.
Promise me, please Jesus,
that a time will come when I can allow myself to feel
these incredible jolts of adoration
to their fullest extent.
You are in control.
I'm not hopeless..
in fact, I've never had so much hope before, assurance,
and understanding that You are so actively performing Your will.
All the same, [insert laugh here],
Father,
what are you doing?
Oh Jesus, wonderful Jesus!
I would never have done it this way...
I'm so glad You're the Master and not me!
Wonderful Jesus!
I can barely imagine what you'll do next..
I desire to stay in Your will, to be constantly in Your presence,
so that when you move next,
I can handle it,
I can accept it,
I can marvel and revel in it!
Jesus.. Jesus...
I thought...
a lot..
help me not to think so much right now,
but to just pray
for healing and Your will
and a revelation of who You are
of where Your calling
a revelation of You, Jesus
even in me,
because I need You.
Desperately, Lord, I need You
I hunger and thirst for You Lord.
I desperately need You, Jesus.
Jesus.
Help me to just pray and run after You
Holy One
because all I really need is You
and You alone satisfy my soul.

Winter 2001

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Gondolas in Venice; Actual size=240 pixels wide

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