October 21, 1999
Is this what I have to look forward to all the rest of my minutes seconds hours?
What a God you are.
How amazing.
How mysterious.
There must be more of your world than this.
There must be a place where I am not a wanderer.
There must be a place where I’m not torn between my ambitions.
There must be a place where security lingers,
where doubts fade,
and we all agree.
Three must be a place where I can stand up and speak
and every face about me will nod with deep assurance.
Three must be a place for my eyes to survey that undoubtedly looks like home.
There must be a safe haven where my past suddenly makes sense, and the future is mine.
But I’m not there...
While I endure the distance from here to there, I cling to dreams of home and sigh with
persistence
looking and leaning forward
because there must be
a place
where I am me
without apology.
There must be a place,
where my mind is trained to know and do and feel and think
truth.
There must be a place
where I am by grace,
all these thing I aspire to,
and all the things
I already am
but cannot recognize
amidst the pressures of this foreign earth.
