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August 23, 1999
With Words from "The Pieces Fit" by Considering Lilly

I know the end.
The ribbon dances in the compelling air,
the line is crisp and white,
and beyond it,
the lanes curve around a corner
I not only lack the wisdom to envision,
but that I trust to the joy of mystery in God in faith in things unseen.
Itís been the longest,
hardest,
forced race Iíve chosen to receive.
greatest thief of breath and heartbeats
of rest and attention
"his stripes for my pain"
Iíve been running for so long,
chasing that end Iíve been promised,
gasping and kicking and striding too hard at times,
pacing - sprinting - moments of mental defeat -
runners high.
Iíve been running for so long....
Oh God!!!!
I know the promised finish is there,
I saw it in my own dream constructed from the words and answers you give me,
but for all reality, I cannot see it.
I cannot see it.
I cannot see it.
I donít know if I can stop running...
how will I win if I donít exert every ounce of capability I have??
"High Jump. Short Pole."
How can you tell me to stop?!
I cannot see it.
I cannot see it.
How will I make it there,
if I pause on this track,
if I sit and rest,
if I stop and drink,
if I wander off the field where youíre pointing?
"His joy for my grief,
His hurt, my relief,
My doubt, His belief."
Iíve been running for so long, I donít know how to stop...
my legs churn, my arms pump, my heart spurts, my eyes glare, my will cannot pause...
cannot see it.
"A mystery with no clue
a maze where each direction is deceiving,
with no one to lead you."
I listened to the song.
I sang the song.
Itís the sweetest melody Iíve ever heard,
and I only thought, I wanted to hear it,
one last time,
but my ears grope the notes, my heart craves the tune, my soul is addicted to the lyrics, my
will cannot pause...
cannot see it.
"I was confused till His answers reached me....
It was a match made in Heaven,
from the moment we connected."
Then something happened....
I stopped running.
I said not a word.
I stood there, with my arms limp,
my face to the sky,
and with eyes full of answers,
I let the song end.
And I cried.


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