August 23, 1999
With Words from "The Pieces Fit" by Considering Lilly

I know the end.
The ribbon dances in the compelling air,
the line is crisp and white,
and beyond it,
the lanes curve around a corner
I not only lack the wisdom to envision,
but that I trust to the joy of mystery in God in faith in things unseen.
It’s been the longest,
hardest,
forced race I’ve chosen to receive.
greatest thief of breath and heartbeats
of rest and attention
"his stripes for my pain"
I’ve been running for so long,
chasing that end I’ve been promised,
gasping and kicking and striding too hard at times,
pacing - sprinting - moments of mental defeat -
runners high.
I’ve been running for so long....
Oh God!!!!
I know the promised finish is there,
I saw it in my own dream constructed from the words and answers you give me,
but for all reality, I cannot see it.
I cannot see it.
I cannot see it.
I don’t know if I can stop running...
how will I win if I don’t exert every ounce of capability I have??
"High Jump. Short Pole."
How can you tell me to stop?!
I cannot see it.
I cannot see it.
How will I make it there,
if I pause on this track,
if I sit and rest,
if I stop and drink,
if I wander off the field where you’re pointing?
"His joy for my grief,
His hurt, my relief,
My doubt, His belief."
I’ve been running for so long, I don’t know how to stop...
my legs churn, my arms pump, my heart spurts, my eyes glare, my will cannot pause...
cannot see it.
"A mystery with no clue
a maze where each direction is deceiving,
with no one to lead you."
I listened to the song.
I sang the song.
It’s the sweetest melody I’ve ever heard,
and I only thought, I wanted to hear it,
one last time,
but my ears grope the notes, my heart craves the tune, my soul is addicted to the lyrics, my
will cannot pause...
cannot see it.
"I was confused till His answers reached me....
It was a match made in Heaven,
from the moment we connected."
Then something happened....
I stopped running.
I said not a word.
I stood there, with my arms limp,
my face to the sky,
and with eyes full of answers,
I let the song end.
And I cried.


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